Hollywood loves sequels. It’s obvious and stupid, but it’s true. But not every movie gets a sequel, which is more of a testament to laziness. After all, if people were dumb enough to make a sequel to “2001: A Space Odyssey,” then there’s no reason why every successful movie shouldn’t have 5 sequels.

Independence Day — This is the number one untapped sequel, for every reason you can imagine.

Reason 1.) The original made a zillion dollars.

Reason 2.) The original wasn’t that original, so it would be easy to repeat.

Reason 3.) The original had a huge cast, so you could make a sequel with all of them returning, some of them returning, none of them returning or all of them returning plus some others.

Reason 4.) That couldn’t have been all of the aliens and all of their ships, right? They had to have had a full navy back on their home planet, and when they got word that a computer nerd and the Fresh Prince beat them with a computer virus, they would download McAfee and mount a counter attack.

Really the only question would be whether the attack would happen on the Fourth of July again, but that’s an easy one to solve.

This will be solved very soon, as most of the non-Will Smith cast will reunite for the sequel, but how did they possibly hold off so long? Continue reading ‘ELEVEN Successful Movies Without A Sequel’

I’ve been re-watching “Vertigo.” And re-rewatching, and re-re-rewatching. I’ve actually been listening to the audio, without images.

With all this study, I’m not 100% certain of my opinion about it. I’m not sure I love it, or if I do, if I love it because it gives me something to think about as a film lover, or if I’m just trying to love it so I resemble a film lover. But that’s all subjective. In studying it very carefully, I’ve noticed some facts that have eluded me for far too long.

1.) There is some world-class foreshadowing in the second scene. This is at Midge’s apartment, and I’ve always kind of passed over this scene, as I’m sure many others have as well. Initial reviews of “Vertigo” noted that the opening hour is rather dull, but that’s because the exposition and foreshadowing is so well done that you think you’re watching a standard Meet-The-Characters scene when you’re actually getting fed vital information — information which plays directly into the nuts and bolts of the story as well as (and this is the more impressive part) the character traits and themes, which go on to support the later, weirder elements of the story.

Specifically: Continue reading ‘“Vertigo” and Repeating Repetitions’

I’ve recently developed the hypothesis that the band Blur may be the least consequential good band of my lifetime. I own one album of theirs (1997’s “Blur”), I’ve heard a bunch of other songs. I neither love nor hate them. I neither like nor dislike them. And I can’t think of any friends who would identify themselves as “Blur Fans” or “Blur Heads” or whatever fans of Blur would call themselves if they did, in fact, exist, which is doubtful at the moment.

To my knowledge, Blur never played SNL, never won a Grammy, and nobody has ever argued about these being cultural crimes. They have never had a real controversy of any proportion. The only way I can prove they existed is by their tangential relationships to other bands (those being the weird rivalry with Oasis, and the fact that someone in Blur dated someone in Elastica) (but I could tell you more about Oasis and Elastica; I own more Elastica albums than Blur albums – 100% of the Elastica catalog as opposed to whatever percentage one album of Blur’s catalog is). Continue reading ‘Blur Was Inconsequential’

It’s generally agreed that “Batman: The Animated Series” was a great TV show, and that the success of that show depended on many talented people being very talented together. But was there a standout? I’m watching the NBA Finals featuring season MVP Steph Curry, and I’m wondering “Who was the MVP for ‘B:TAS'”

I’m also wondering, “Has anyone considered this before?

Then I’m wondering, “Why hasn’t anyone considered this before?”

Then I made a list.

The only hard rule is that it must be a single person, so while it might be tempting to nominate an entire animation studio, I’m going to limit this to single human beings.

Continue reading ‘The “Batman: The Animated Series” MVP Race’

Possibly spawned by this ERB, I recently re-watched “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” Commence thoughts:

1.) It’s Aged Well. Surprisingly well. The situation is still relatable, understandable and (as far as a story based on time travel can be) straightforward. Most of the jokes still work, too, because they are character based, and most of those characters are 100+ years dead. I’m willing to predict that taking Ghengis Khan to the sporting goods store, or having Billy the Kid and Socrates hit on mall girls will still remain viable and funny. The story structure is sound as a rock with only a couple parts that drag. That’s a hit. Considering the times in which it was made, that’s practically a grand slam. Continue reading ‘Random Thoughts: “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” Re-Watched’

I got it! And I knew it! And I got it.

Explaining: In a fit of sudden fanship, I bought two more Best Coast albums. And in doing so, I’ve finally realized just what Best Coast is.

Best Coast =¬†Sheryl Crow ¬†+ 1/2 The Go-Go’s (Nirvana influences – Anger + Fleetwood Mac). The Fleetwood Mac part was figured out by reading the liner notes, but still! Continue reading ‘Best Coast Figured Out’

I cannot explain it. I am in love with “Crazy For You” by Best Coast, and it’s completely anti-intellectual.

I have almost nothing in common with this band. By some comparison, I should actually dislike the band. It’s a duo with a lead singer, born and raised in California. They (by which I mean exclusively her) sing about lost love and half-hearted apologies, California, living in California, smoking pot (that’s the part that should annoy me most; I’m not a total prude, but I don’t smoke and above all I get annoyed at people who not only smoke, but go on and on about how great smoking is). Since there’s almost no variation between the songs, they all blend together. I go from singing “Something about the summer” to the chorus of “The End,” to the chorus of “Your Deal,” and it feels like it’s all one song. It feels like they wrote this 30-minute album about 30 minutes prior.

And yet, here I am. I’m listening to it at work with headphones, and I have the CD in my car for my drive home. It’s a half hour of absolute bliss, and that feeling comes solely from the music. These sounds work for me, at this moment. Continue reading ‘Best Coast Beloved’


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