A Foolproof Plan to Facilitate an Oasis Reunion

A Foolproof Plan to Facilitate an Oasis Reunion

Recently I was a guest on “the Oasis Podcast,” which like so many other fine music shows of it kind, explores each song of a band, one-by-one, in alphabetical order. James was an excellent and knowledgable host, allowing for a conversation ranging from focused to not. Ultimately, any conversation about Oasis steers toward talk of a reunion. Our on-air chat talked about what constituted a “true reunion” — do you have to reunite the whole crew from 1996, or is it enough to just have the Gallagher brothers together with some other people — yet it fell where it normally does: in complete resignation. It’s not going to happen, no matter what. 

Many such conversations have blossomed since Oasis split up in 2009, with all of them following this same pattern. The Gallaghers pursued variations of solo careers (some with bands where they were clearly the leaders/stars), and whenever people asked them about getting together, it seems to get either laughed off or made into an even more enormous joke. A few years ago, Noel Gallagher said he wouldn’t do it even for one hundred million pounds or something. 

So while all these conversations have taken place around how it could happen and the like, I have heard no talk or action. There have been lots of wishing and hoping and such, but is anyone in the fan community willing to do something about it? 

Action requires a plan, and fortunately for those fans, I happen to have one that is not only simple, but foolproof. You’re welcome in advance. 

The plan is: stop buying post-Oasis Gallagher music. 

Currently, every time Liam or Noel drops a single — or even HINTS at dropping one — it’s not only major news in the UK, but hordes of fans line up to buy the work. To be fair, a lot of it has been pretty great (I myself have been pleasantly surprised just how much I’ve loved Liam’s first two solo records), but when we think about operating in a capitalist society, supporting the Gallagher solo work is actually funding against our desired outcome. 

To put it more plainly: if you keep buying their post-Oasis work, there is no financial incentive for the Gallaghers to reunite. 

That’s where the plan comes into play. We simply stop supporting the non-Oasis work. Essentially the fan community applies sanctions against any Gallagher music which does not directly align with an imminent reunion of the band Oasis. This is to say, any solo Gallagher music, as every pound in their pocket is another pound they don’t need by getting back together. 

I’ve tried a similar plan before, around 2008 when the Chicago Cubs went into the post season as the best team in the Major Leagues, only to loose in the first round (not just loose, but get resoundingly swept by the Dodgers by a total point differential of 14 runs in just three games!). I remember watching this and realizing that blindly supporting a loosing franchise does not in any way provide incentive for improvement. It actually deincentivizes it. I withdrew from buying any Chicago Cubs merchandise from that day forward. 

Eight years later, the Chicago Cubs won their first World Series in over 100 years. 

Like I said: Foolproof. 

Come on, Oasis fans. Support your favorite band by NOT supporting them today. Force them into the poor house so they will have no choice but to reunite and give US what we want. Put our own needs above their wellbeing. We want things!

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