One of THOSE Blogs


As I try to process the horrible events of the last weekend, I type this. It’s going to be very scattered, and therefore honest.

I offer no answers. I believe that anyone who does offer answers to what went wrong, or how things could be fixed — either directly or without knowing it — has earned my distrust. Even if I mostly agree with them. There’s a bit of an “Told ya’ so” attitude with some and a “That won’t work” bit with others that makes me want to slap everyone, because if you aren’t confused by something as baffling as this, then I cannot relate to you. That’s not an argument against gun control, or even getting that political. It’s just that you don’t know. Nobody knows. There’s nothing to know. The internet allows people to sound like experts, even when they’re not trying to be. So believe me when I say I am not an expert. I am an immature man, father and hopeful person. So here are some thoughts. They will be short and all over the place.

Comedy. It’s believed that Comedy = Tragedy + Time. If that’s the case, then this event will be funny in exactly 3,000,898,025 years. And even then, it won’t be hilarious.

Batman Doesn’t Carry a Gun. Because he has nobility. People want to psychoanalyze the character and get into the strange sadistic qualities of a man who wants to beat up criminals with his bare hands, but I’ve never really held to that. Batman doesn’t use a gun because a gun killed his parents. His parents’ death was the defining moment in his life. He believes he must fight injustice, but not by using the “weapons of the enemy” as he says in “The Dark Knight Returns.” He is noble while fighting a noble cause. On that  note…

There’s a Prophetic Scene in “TDKReturns.” One of those random asides to show you how awful things are in Gotham City. It’s about a crazy man who murders a bunch of people in a movie theater. Maybe this is proof that comic books still are a fringe market, but I’m surprised we didn’t hear much about that scene considering the events in the Aurora, CO/”Dark Knight Rises” tragedy. Either way, it’s difficult to read now. Also difficult to read…

The Later Scene In Chapter Three. Where the Joker slaughters a troop of Cub Scouts. I don’t think I could read it again. The second chapter of the animated “Returns” is coming out soon, and it will most likely include this moment, and I will probably vomit. Everything feels ruined. In times like this, it’s hard feeling happy because you feel guilty. Or at least I do. I feel guilty trying to enjoy myself doing anything because people have lost their entire world. In some immature way, I’m angry that some of my favorite things, such as my favorite graphic novel, have been tarnished by the events of mad men. I know it’s fiction, and handled well, but it still feels gross. Also weirdly on my mind…

“Star Wars: Episode III.” The scene where Anakin slaughters the young kid Jedis. It’s always been a kind of harsh scene anyway (hey, those movies actually DID make me feel something!), but as my weak imagination tries to process what happened — and actually (foolishly) try to imagine the scene — this moment keeps popping up in my mind. I know it’s not right, but it’s there. So now the only good prequel is ruined. And it is legitimately ruined in a way that those moments from “TDKReturns” are not. In “Returns,” they are horrible moments acted on by horrible people. People we are not cheering for. We’re cheering for Batman to stop those people. But the underlying draw of the “Star Wars” prequels was that we wanted to see how Anakin became Darth Vader. We were actually pulling for it. And that’s one of the main scenes we were subconsciously pulling for. No more. At least not for another 3,000,898,025 years.

Christmas Presents. I’m assuming many of those kids celebrated Christmas, and now there are presents — perhaps even wrapped — that will never be opened. I’m hoping that family friends offer to return them for the mourning parents.

Gun Control. Why not try it? We can try it, can’t we? Updating the gun control laws, closing the loopholes, etc. Once more, I’m not saying this is the answer. It’s obviously not going to do everything. But I don’t see how it wouldn’t hurt to try. Look, NRA-loving folks, how about we agree that there be background checks on the mental health of everyone who wants to purchase a gun? If you’re not crazy, then you have nothing to worry about! If you are, tough break. We’ll get you some help and another hobby.

Tough to Give Up The Guns. I know a lot of people are upset with the White House’s statement about how this is “not the time” to talk gun control. I get why that would be upsetting, but put yourself in the mindset of a gun owner after an event like this. They’re scared. We’re ALL scared. If a gun owner is scared, telling him or her to loosen their grip on something that makes them feel less scared will only make them cling tighter. My 3-year-old does it all the time. When he had a pacifier, if he was upset and we wanted to get it away from him, he threw a fit. So politically speaking, yeah, it’s not a great time, because people aren’t thinking clearly. And I’m all for clear thinking. I’m also all for not killing people, so I’m understandably conflicted. However, if there are any gun lovers out there who are, at this time, willing to give on this issue, then you are more brave than I.

Word Choice. I don’t know what we’re culturally going to call this event, but I’ve been thinking of the right words to use in describing it. I’m trying to act like a writer, so that means I fixate on word choice. Feels like “killing” isn’t entirely accurate. It is at the very least “murder,” and quite possibly “slaughter.” Those sound more heinous, which seems more appropriate*.

More Writing Choices. I’ve been trying to work on an action script about two rival female assassins (as in they are both assassins and both women, not that that they are people who assassinate women… anyway…) working together to steal $300 million in a rip off of “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly”… and I feel really gross about it. I haven’t written too much gunplay, but if I’m dealing with assassins, I’d have to deal with it sometime. They can’t just run around with katana swords. They can’t both be “knife experts.” Well… they COULD, but that seems pretty ostentatious. Like they and the villain are trekking through the American South fighting people with only short knives. A bit too Quirky Quirksville for my taste. But it feels nasty to think about, as much as I have, the exciting, marketable ways these two “likable killers” will kill their way to their goal. I feel responsible for setting a good example. So I’ll just write the “Everybody Loves Everyone” story and be done with it. Good night.

“Every one of them has a mother.” The kindergarten murder is just one of many mass-shootings we’ve had to deal with in the last couple years, last couple months and last week. But that one took front and center for obvious reasons. But in every case, the lines of Burgess Meredith have been ringing in my head. They were all kids once. They all had a mother.

This isn’t over. I’ll probably write more later. We’ll all be gloomy for a while.

*Also, the word “appropriate” doesn’t seem right.


2 Responses to “One of THOSE Blogs”

  1. Great post. The truth is that dead kids are great for gun sales. America is no longer about doing the right thing. It’s about making money at any cost.

  2. I thought about some of this watching the train crash scene in “Wanted.” I thought post-9/11 it’s hard to make a scene like that come off as “fun.” I kept thinking about all the innocent people who died because of the battle between the hero and the villain. I think people will be fine viewing hero vs. villain action (like I imagine your assassin script) but fictionally killing innocent extras like in TDKReturns has become a much more serious event. Not impossible to do, but much more serious.

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