Entire “Star Wars” Saga Coming to 3-D



Well… sort of boo.

I’m generally not a 3-D guy. I believe the movie studios figured out a great way to snatch more money away from customers without putting out a better product. Am I saying “Clash of the Titans” would have been better in only 2-D? Yes, I guess I am. Because at least you wouldn’t have to wear those damn glasses (or in my case, another pair of damn glasses).

Not to miss a trick for a second, George Lucas announced recently that the six “live action” (to use that term loosely) “Star Wars” movies will be re-released in 3-D format starting in 2012.

But that’s not all. They’re going to release them numerically, starting with Episode I.


Have they not read my perfect “Star Wars” viewing strategy? Most likely not. The sad thing is that they could probably follow my strategy and release the trailers for Episodes I and II in 3-D and still get people to pay to watch them.

So as soon as I heard news of the 3-D release, I put on my “Nope” face and folded my arms. I feel like I closed a chapter in my life when Episode III completed. I could move on.

But I was wrong. Or I am wrong. Or I’m both.

I have a one year old son. By the time Episode IV comes out, he’ll be five years old, arguably the perfect age to see “Star Wars.” By going against conventional wisdom and starting with Episode I, Lucas has put the best part of the series in my son’s viewing wheelhouse (assuming ticket sales for the prequels don’t sink the whole thing out of the gate; who the hell is going to pay EXTRA to watch Episode II? I can barely get through the thing with the French dub*).

And I’m a loving father. I think. I want my son to have the best.

…Dammit. I’m gonna have to pay to watch this damn movie again, only “better,” aren’t I? My only hope is that some other snarky dude is out there who owns a movie theater in Los Angeles, and plays the original 2-D cut (I’d even take the “Special Edition” if it’s 2-D) opposite of this 3-D release. Help me, snarky dude who owns his own movie theater. You’re my only hope.

*This is actually worse because I don’t speak French so I have to read the dialog. Instead of avoiding the horrible writing, I’m actually more intimately associating myself with it.


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